DON'T sit on your brothers head!

...and 9 more things I never imagined saying as a parent.

1. In the morning, while waking up my daughter... "Why are you sleeping with your sword?"  
  Sword on one side, doll on the other.  You never know when those infamous bad guys will be out.

2. "I'm not taking you back up to the house, just go in the lake."  Don't judge me. We were on vacation, the house was far, and she has to go every 7 1/2 minutes.  

3.  "Unless you're on fire or bleeding profusely from a gaping wound, do not come back inside this house!"  The ever living kid game of Go In and Out the Door Every 5 minutes begins with the first ray of sunshine, but is squelched shortly thereafter.  Thus, requiring the next phrase...

4. "Please do not go potty outside in the yard."  At first glance, through the vertical blinds, I saw...who turned on the sprinkler?! Wait, I don't hear the water! Oh no, that's not water!  Nooo! 

5.  "Do not color on your brother. Markers are for paper, not people!" The response, "but, it matches his shirt, Mama and he likes it".  A 5 year olds attempt at justification of his naughtiness.  No win, buddy. Nice try.

6.  "Please don't draw any more pictures of people going potty."  Suddenly, Art class took a turn for the worse.

7. "No, you cannot pretend to hang your brother, even you're just pretending."  Maybe too many Bonanza re-runs?

8. "When I said make the kitchen sparkle, I didn't mean scatter sugar all over the counters!"  Pure genius and completely stupid all at the same time.

9.  "Leave your clothes on! When I said go inside and cool off, I didn't mean to get completely undressed!"  Naked is cooler, but not always appropriate.  

  As a parent, we've all stifled laughter, or tried to, in a moment of "oh my goodness, I can't believe you just did that...ate that...said that...etc".   The joys, the heartache that these growing up years are exciting and wonderful!  These are the moments, the days that will never be repeated.  The days that our shared memories are made and never forgotten.  I say it all the time, "These are the Glory Years".  It brings fullness to my heart when I thank God for these children and all the wonderful, crazy, sad, and difficult days we've had together.   Its humbling to realize that as these precious children get older, their hearts and minds are shaped by the things that I have said to them.   

Also, I now find myself thinking or even saying things that my parents said to me as a child.  How funny it is to literally hear my mother's voice in my head as I say things to my own kids.  I think it might be the one time that hearing voices in your head is allowed.  

I'm looking forward to the day when my children will get to say all sorts of crazy things to their kids and I can tell stories on them to their kids!  All kids like to hear stories about when their Mom was a little girl!

Can't wait!