A Word About Warnings

It is true that the word "WARNING" has a generally negative connotation to it, but only because it announces the possibility of impending doom or danger. 

A warning, is actually pretty nice, when you think about it.  

After all, how would you feel if you missed these?

• WARNING: BRIDGE OUT
• WARNING: NO SWIMMING!! LAKE INFESTED WITH DEADLY MAN EATING FISH
• WARNING: FLAMMABLE 
• WARNING: ROAD CLOSED DUE TO AVALANCHE

Personally, I think you'd feel worse if you missed them than if you had read them. 

Recently, as I was painting the entry way of my home, I was presented with another type of WARNING label. This category of WARNING label is the type that make you laugh and chuckle to yourself about the poor sap that actually needs the warning they're giving.

 You know what I mean...

• Found on hair dryer...DO NOT USE WHILE SLEEPING
• Found on Christmas Lights...FOR INDOOR OR OUTDOOR USE ONLY (where else is there?)
• Found on Land O' Lakes Half & Half...WARNING: CONTAINS MILK 
• Found on Nytol Sleep Aid...WARNING: MAY CAUSE DROWSINESS 

...and then we have the one found here on my ladder.

First of all, it says "When using this as a step ladder..."  Excuse me?  A step ladder that goes 12 feet UP?  Really?  I've always supposed that a step ladder was a nice little helper to reach a top shelf.  One step, two step, three steps...maybe four, but that's pushing it.  Hang a picture, dust a shelf, get something down for your Granny, but good gracious, Ethel!  Going 12 feet up is not a step ladder!!  

Keep in mind the definition of Warning: An intimation, threat, or sign of impending danger or evil.

As if that wasn't enough, I shall continue. The precious warning label goes on to say

 "...Do Not Stand On Or Above This Rung. 

YOU CAN LOSE YOUR BALANCE

It says "CAN" as in, maybe you will, maybe you won't.  Pretty much, it depends on your coordination and balance as a person for how you should interpret this.  Fine.  However, let us consider the placement of such a warning on this precious 12 foot ladder.  To give you an accurate view I got down on the floor and took this picture for you.  Please note, the first rung of the ladder, visible in the lower left, is already 18 inches off the ground. Second, please note the yellow arrow.  This shows you the exact location of this WARNING label...

 Yes, that's right folks, its right up there at the 11 foot mark!!  So you see, way up at 8 or a mere 9 feet up...well, that's safe, you can't lose your balance there!  No, no, not until 11 feet...don't go above there, THAT'S where the danger begins.  They said so "...on or above this rung..."   
Doesn't that make YOU feel safer?  Oh ya, me too.  That's why I was only standing at the 8 foot rung and I felt sooo safe and secure!  Just look at me!  A picture of serenity, strength, security.  Sure.  
If you could see my knuckles, let me assure you, they-were-white.  And not from the paint mind you.

 Here I am  (below) standing a mere 6 feet off the ground.  Look how brave I am!!  No fear of losing my balance at this height.  Nu-Uh! The WARNING label clearly states that the Rung of Danger isn't for another 5 more feet.  Aren't I just the picture of safety?  

Now you may be wondering why I am making such a big deal about this. Truly, I can't give you a very life altering explanation.  Other than to say that a WARNING label is only what you make of it. We could just chalk it up to paint fumes or the thin air that I was in while painting near the Rung of Death.  Perhaps its just relief, as I look back from being on the brink of danger...hoping that somehow, these words will make a difference in the life of some fellow ladder user...

...or not.