This Mom's Life

1.. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
‘If you’re going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
cleaning.

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
‘You better pray that will come out of the carpet.

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
‘If you don’t straighten up, I’m going to knock you into the middle of
next week!

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
" Because I said so, ! that’s why".

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
‘If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you’re not going to
the store with me.’

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
‘Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you’re in an accident.’

7. My mother taught me IRONY
‘Keep crying, and I’ll give you something to cry about.’

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
‘Shut your mouth and eat your supper.’

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
‘Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!’

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA..
‘You’ll sit there until all that spinach is gone.’

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
‘This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.’

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
‘If I told you once, I’ve told you a million times. Don’t exaggerate!’

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
‘I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.’

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
‘Stop acting like your father!’

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
‘There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don’t
have wonderful parents like you do.’

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
‘Just wait until we get home.’

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
‘You are going to get it when we get home!’

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
‘If you don’t stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way.’

19. My mother taught me HUMOR.

‘When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me.’

20. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
‘If you don’t eat your vegetables, you’ll never grow up.’

21. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
‘Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?’

22. My mother taught me WISDOM.
‘When you get to be my age, you’ll understand.’

23. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
‘One day you’ll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!’

Well, maybe my Mother didn't say all of these things, exactly.  For everyone that she didn't exactly say, she had another one verrry similar.  And now, as a parent, I find myself saying some pretty crazy things.  When you're young you imagine the perfect little family where no one ever says "HEY!!  Get off your brother's head!!"  Seriously, there are so many things that happen throughout my day that really cause me to sit back and wonder, "WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE??"  

I've always heard about how a Mom cannot even go to the bathroom without someone knocking on the door, and its mostly true, but I'm getting used to that one.  However, NO ONE ever mentioned the messages sent under the door, with a pen, asking a question and giving me multiple choice answers to choose from!

I might have imagined a child using too much toilet paper and plugging the toilet, but I never imagined a toy soldier gun, a flashlight and an ENTIRE roll of toilet paper going in there at once!  Yep, its true!  And if you'd like to relive the moment, I've linked it here and here for your reading pleasure.

While there are so many crazy things I never imagined would happen in my life as a Mother, there are far more wonderful things that have filled my life with joy as a Mom.

If I list all of those, I'd end up typing a few pages more and probably balling my eyes out as I recall so many precious memories.

God has been so good to me, my cup runneth over.  

Happy Mother's Day!